Mary Rambin, Houston’s very own local person who lives in Houston, done got her hair did today yall. Boy howdy do it look goo-ooood! Yeehaw! Yonder. Ya’ll come back now!

Sorry, Mary makes me Texan. Anyway, apparently she went back to her natural colour color (happy now?) and as you can see above the change is shocking!

Back to my natural color!! @lesliesanchez I LOVE Josie! http://twitpic.com/12aziu 2 minutes ago from TweetDeck

Ok…what? It looks exactly the same. I don’t mean to nitpick, Merms, but wtf? Please explain….oh.

Forgot the quotes around natural. My “natural” color 🙂 1 minute ago from TweetDeck

I’m still kind of confused, but I am too busy trying to unsee the mental Karp sex tape by watching season 3 of Murder, She Wrote to try and figure it out.

thatgirlallison, shockingly still single, has decided that the best place to be tonight is the TONY Desperate Social Media And Finance Climbers And Also Unemployed Artistic People party.  When rumors claim you’ve been Crapcanned by Peter Feld, I guess your romantic options become rather limited.

I’m on the list for the Time Out NY’s ‘Singles Bash.’  I didn’t think I’d be able to get in (it sounds lame, but I went last year and it was pretty entertaining), but my friend was able to get me in and so I’m grateful to her, and yet very tired and wanting to go home and sleep more at the same time.  It will be fun.  I won’t meet Mr. Right Now (um, I’ll be in a bar!) but I’ll hang out, see some friends who will be there, maybe have a drink (I don’t plan on getting drunk, for once), and then I’ll go home.

Wow. Sounds exhilarating, Allison. Your obvious energy and enthusiasm will surely attract the attention of some junior vp of date rape inc. Jeezus. If you’re so meh about it don’t go! I hate people like you who don’t really want to be there but seem convinced that no event is complete unless they put in an appearance. “Oh I guess I’ll get in the mood ONCE I’M THERE” people piss me off. If  you aren’t in the mood to go then don’t go, and leave it to the people who want to be there. Trust me, sugarplum, nobody will miss you, not even Peter Feld.

Edit: Guess that Crap was last night, thanks to the jealous bortch who corrected me.

Rachel and her boyfriend David Karp (seen above with Pigeon Toes) are ready to get INTIMATE with you! Evidently the King and Queen of tumblropia plan on graphing their wild monkey hipster sex in order to see who the real sexchamp is:

This is going to get competitive

Rachel and I are going to try wearing Fitbits during sex (with each other) to graph our physical exertion.

I don’t know about you, but when I picture these two having sex (not that I sit around picturing them having sex but they basically just asked me to picture them having sex) it always looks like a Fiona Apple video being shot on top of an American Apparel ad.

Seriously, unless they have suddenly turned into coked out acrobats I really don’t think those Fitbits will rise past “Sedentary.” Or whatever “pale sad vegans without enough energy to do anything but look at each other with deep feeling out of our hungry, hollow eyes” level would be.

Prove me wrong, rabbits.

Sarah Lacy, cultural activist, is taking down @WomenWhoTech, who dared to use something something civil rights equality something…anyway, get a load of this pissing match:

@WomenWhoTech: when it comes to “civil rights” we have much bigger concerns as a society. gay marriage, immigration etc. 6:58 PM Feb 5th from web in reply to WomenWhoTech

@WomenWhoTech: if this is all the prejudice you experience in your life, consider yourself blessed. again, an example would be great. 7:03 PM Feb 5th from web in reply to WomenWhoTech

Let’s take a moment to titter quietly at Sarah “omg poorz and smells” Lacy trying to school someone on civil rights and societal progress.

Ok, done? Well Allyson Kapin could not simply snicker, eyeroll, and walk away. She knows that the only way to get your point across is repeat, repeat, repeat!

@sarahcuda – If we don’t talk abt issues openly then nothing changes! You think the civil rights movement happened because ppl were silent? 6:49 PM Feb 5th from web

@sarahcuda – if we took the same attitude with civil rights or frankly any other issue (boredom of message) change would never have happen. 7:01 PM Feb 5th from web

And so forth. This reaction really does seem awfully out of proportion to some group’s message about funding more women in tech. What is the big deal? God forbid there be more women in tech to compete with Sarah Almighty. If women with actual talent and tech cred showed up she might lose her spot as ‘only semi-attractive grl on the D&D BBS’ or something. She’d just be another loudmouthed harpy with a laptop, and after 10 years of spinning herself as some little hottie who is some tech insider geek gurl there is NO WAY Sarah is going to support inviting more women into the room.

Or maybe that’s just how her omfg freakout came off to me.

OMGBEARS McCarthy, did she have surgery, took to her twitter during the Superbowl yesterday to ponder something we were all thinking: Superbowl ads sure seem to be targeted to men!

So many Super Bowl ads addressing the idea of…manliness. The gay dating ad would’ve been perfect! #sb44 about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck

R. Crowe testoverload, Jay-Dave catfight, No Pants, Dove ad, gay dating rejection: Recipe for Slate article about masculinity in the media. about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck

Dodge “Man’s Last Stand” ad falls right into overload of masculinity-themed spots, too. “I will watch your vampire TV shows with you.” about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck

Really, men? Are you so paranoid that your masculinity is under constant attack? I’ll buy you a beer if it makes you feel better. about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck

Amen, sister! I mean, I remember the days when the Superbowl was nothing but Cover Girl and Tampax commercials. When did that change???!!

Shira Lazar, of the Pee Wee Herman laugh Lazars, threw the most rockin party for some game she didn’t even watch.

my superbowl party currently consists of 4 things: 3 ppl, 3 laptops, open wi-fi, open bar- anyone want to join? about 13 hours ago from TweetDeck

Since I don’t own a tv and I don’t pretend to care about sports just so I can have a party, I have no idea who even played or whatever. Something tells me Shira wasn’t paying much attention either.

how many people are wondering what the superbowl would look like in 3D right now about 12 hours ago from TweetDeck

there’s a movie called the crazies??! awesome! about 11 hours ago from TweetDeck

superbowl after party begins! about 11 hours ago from TweetDeck

Since she didn’t mention anything about who played, or the score, or any of the plays, I think we can safely assume that Tits ‘n’ Giggles up there just sat on her laptop playing E vony or photoshopping herself into pics with Prince William while drinking Bud Light with the Superbowl on in the background.  Another triumphant party for Shira!

Mary Rambin is now keeping score of how many times she has thanked herself for leaving NonSociety on her face. Or she is getting some more ‘tox!

This just in: spotted Mermaid was seen running around Houston late this afternoon after another battle with Botox.  From the looks of it, she lost.

She tried to run from us, she tried to hide, but then for the sake of a good LOL, she surrendered the photos on her iPhone from her office visit with one Dr. Christopher Patronella.

The post continues with another photo, and the usual commenters telling Mary she’s too young for botox. What I’m so so so pissed about is the fact that Mary Rambin just took my job and did it better. I’m just another Julia Allison to her, I suppose.

*zing*