Jessica Amason turned 28 yesterday and I guess someone was mad enough about me not mentioning it to send me an email. I didn’t mention it because uh, nothing really happened except a good time:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!! 11:47 PM Feb 15th from Twitterrific

Some of us are twenty mother eiiiight!!!!!!! TV PARTY on the stereoooooooooo about 12 hours ago from Twitterrific

Soooo many kisses. about 9 hours ago from Twitterrific

2 everyone (2 many 2 thank via twitter) that came out 4 bday drx & dinner luv u all.positivity + honesty =28 yr resolution. its everything. about 6 hours ago from web

And on and on. Sounds like everyone had a good time. Basically looks like she got drunk with friends and tweeted a bunch of nonsense. Who cares? Come on that’s me like, every night. I’ll start reporting on her birthday parties when hotel rooms get set on fire, ok?

Scanner David Karp, seen above attempting to read your mind, has yet another accusation of mishandling user accounts to deal with.

This post claims that tumblr appropriated a user account from Joe Nobody Regular Person (not real name) and handed it over to a Big Important Company:

I’ve run pitchfork.tumblr.com for almost a year now. I had several posts up and I followed 28 people with the account. All my posts are now gone and my address has been changed to pitchfork1.tumblr.com. Where my blog once stood now stands the official Tumblr for Pitchfork Media Inc. Watch out, Soup, I hear Campbell’s is gunning for you next.

The poster contends that tumblr had no reason to do so by their TOS, and seems to imply that tumblr may have received a financial inducement to hand over the account:

Tumblr stole my subdomain and gave (sold?) it to Pitchfork Media Inc. Keep in mind that the word “pitchfork” is not a proprietary name, it is a noun dating back to the year 1364, so they had no legal right to the word or the subdomain. It clearly wasn’t a case of impersonation as none of my posts had anything to do with music.

As the blogger notes, this isn’t the first time this has happened. If it comes to light that tumblr is confiscating, without warning, accounts of regular users in return for money they are probably going to see a huge backlash from the public. After all, they tout themselves as the young, hip, free speech alternative to stodgy old blogspot and wordpress. If they start selling out and closing blogs for arbitrary or monetary reasons they will likely lose a huge chunk of their user base. So, ya know, good luck with that, Karp.

Update: Tumblr responded to these accusations here, claiming the user was notifed and that the account was inactive. Danish responds to her assertion that he was notified beforehand with this email:

Whatever the situation, support people clearly have their information about the situation crossed somewhere. If you are going to attempt to kick dirt over this at least agree on your story first, okie?

Foster Kamer, guy from Gawker, is quitting that bortch in the  wake of Gabrie Snyder’s odd release.

Foster’s blog states:

That was some bullCrap.

And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Which he wrapped up with a fabulous tag:

tagged as: drunkblogging _that_noise i_was_right_i_was_right_i_was_right_i_was_right if_you_read_the_tags_then_you_might_learn_the_following

_i_m_starting_at_the_village_voice_on_march_1st and_yes_i_m_quitting_gawker and_yes_i_didn_t_take_a_full_time_job_there_the_three_times

_they_offered_me_one_because_of_my_trust_issues_with_nick which_is_why_i_was_right

This proves my theory that Nick Denton is basically Freddie Kruger, and once everyone stops believing he has some kind of power he will go away.

Update: The original blog post has been removed. I’m not sure why, since allegedly Gawker knew he was leaving, so not like it was a big secret. But whatever.

UPDATE ALSO: As of 1:51 pm:

So, here it goes: I’m leaving Gawker in two weeks, it’s got nothing to do with Gabriel Snyder’s departure, and I’ve had a great, great time. about 1 hour ago from web

Ok. Whatever. This is already old.

Academy Award-Winner Robert Scoble thinks that Sarah Lacy needs to quit her whining, because she’s starting to look like this:

In his piece titled “Stop Whining About How Elitist And Expensive TED Is — You’re Only Pissed Because You Didn’t Get Invited,” Scoble excoriates Lacy for being a whiny little  bortch with mom hair.

First, let’s get the elephant out of the way so we can talk about more important things. What is the elephant? No, it’s not Larry Page, co-founder of Google, seen above waving to the audience at TED after he gave them all a free Nexus One.

So, what is the elephant? That TED costs $6,000 and is hard to get into (next year’s TED is already sold out, for instance). They never give away more than 15 press passes, too, which means that most of the world’s press corp can’t get in. This always pisses off people, just as it did to Sarah Lacy, writer at TechCrunch.

I don’t have $6,000 and I doubt I’ll get invited next year for free and, even if I could gather $6,000, it’s sold out for next year anyway.

Freaking elitists!

That’s right, Sarah Lacy is a communist who hates other women and the rich people world because they won’t let her play in their treehouse.

My thoughts? Who the cares about TED anyway? I think they both sound stupid, but I really really loved Scoble in Doubt.

Jason Calacanis, no you’ve never heard of him, spent his evening tweeting about how much Diet Coke you slovenly cat ladies consume.

Americans drink 50 gallons of soda a year-each. Do u drink 1 gallon soda/week? I haven’t had 1 gallon in last 10 years,+ I’m 15 pounds fat! about 10 hours ago from UberTwitter

how can people drink a gallon of soda a week–a week!-and not expect to be fat?!? Crazy. Is it so hard to just drink water or iced tea? #fat about 10 hours ago from UberTwitter

Also, to fellow parents out there: do you let your kids drink soda? Do you keep it in the house? Is it moral to let kids drink it? #fat about 10 hours ago from UberTwitter

I can’t proceed with this post without telling you that every time I see this guy I think he is a Jehova’s witness. I mean…LOOK AT HIM. Ok, anyway, I’m not sure why FTW is all upset about how much soda we all drink. I mean, three tweets worth of indignation is really turdo, Jace. I happen to like my Diet Coke and I’m pretty sure I could drink 90 gallons a week and not be fat, so not understanding all the rooster chesting going on. Save your hand waving for things that matter, like the long ass drive through lines at In-N-Out that block the right hand lane on Macarthur Blvd (srsly, it’s 10 am, why are all these people at In-N-Out).

So, I really don’t care who Emperor Denton Crapcans, but I was told that if I only post a snip of Gabrie’s memo then I am not upholding journalistic standards ethics cornbeef wtfever. And you know how GOMIBLOG feels about adhering to those jay school standards!

So here is part of His Dark Serenity’s equivocating throat jizzing. I am going to spare you 18 paragraphs of ‘we are mother GAWKER! we own the intartubez! we are only blog forever and everyone else? NO ONE ELSE! We are gawker! We win!!!!’ bullCrap, and just give you one paragraph of it!

Does this mean Gawker is going on an acquisition spree?

Well, it’s a question of scale. Each of the Gawker titles does already have more than 1m US visitors a month — making them usually the largest or second largest blog title in their category. Nevertheless the threshold of advertising success does continue to rise and we’re increasingly competing online with TV and newspaper groups.

In parts of the world where people have nothing to do but groom themselves and worry about what other people think of them, this is making some kind of huge scandal. So…for those of you not giving a Crap at home, Gawker bought some other blog and part of the deal was Ruler Of All Internets Crapballing the former EIC Gabrie Snyder to make room for Cityfile dude Remy.

Whatever. His Royal Nickness bores the ass out of me. Until he fires Blakeley or Lawson I really don’t care.