New York City is really rather awful on a Saturday night. My own fault for going to the Meatpacking dist. So excited to be cabbin’ to bed. about 14 hours ago via ÜberTwitter

Jessica Schroeder Quirk, suppository of the fashion blogging community, has skipped off on her free honeymoon to Iceland with her husband. Not to worry, snark rangers; Messica has left us with a third post about her wedding to savor while she sits in a hotel room crafting her inevitable “when traveling to the unknown, think layers” post:

Adam and I had such an awesome wedding party!  The gals wore black dresses of their choice and we asked the boys to wear dark suits with purple ties. I made all of the bouquets and boutonnieres the morning of the wedding.  All of these photos are at my Uncle Walt’s house (he helped to grow those gorgeous zinnias!)

It’s so generous of Messica to share her information about the only wedding that has ever happened on the planet not in one post…but three. Maybe eventually she will finish up that wedding blog she had going. She can even share some of her budget wedding tips with us poor obese food eaters! You know, in case we get married one day.

Mary Rambin, sigh, is now designing branding banners for her clients the Fat Frankels:

Joel and I completed the banner ads for the Frankels yesterday.  I’ve obviously designed plenty of other things before – websites, purses, logos, the list goes on – but these are my first banner ads.

Composing a captivating banner is actually trickier than it sounds.  I think we did a good job making these.  Our goals were to create brand awareness, familiarity with the Frankels themselves and their achievements in building using a conservative but interesting aesthetic.

These aren’t the worst I’ve seen but they certainly aren’t worth the tone of self-congratulation going on in this post. First of all, pick a font you stupid motherer. Second, you don’t build brand awareness by cramming the tiny logo off to the side. It also feels unbalanced, but what do I know, I’ve only been doing this for 10 years.

I get that she is proud of herself for creating something. That’s grand. But I really get annoyed with these people who do something for 15 minutes and then turn around and try to sound like some kind of expert dispensing advice (Jordan Reid Expert Blogger anyone?) It’s fine to be excited at learning how to do something and making that first whatever. But don’t try to sound like some Professor of Marketing and Design when your great accomplishments thus far have been drinking in Mexico and having a tumblr.

THAT SAID, I’m sure her future efforts will be better.

Meghan McCain, “writer”, took to her twitter today to inform us all how omg proud she is of her super successful book:

On a side note, Dirty Sexy Politics has officially been out a month – THANK YOU to everyone who has bought it, read it, enjoyed it, tweeted about 2 hours ago via web

tweeted it. I am so happy with where my book has gone! …. about 2 hours ago via web [ed note: I edited out the rest after ‘gone’]

I’m sorry but where exactly has her book gone? Besides the Costco sale bin, I mean.

The time has come – Jacob Lodwick, redacted, is deleting his blog.

For the past few years Jake has confused us, aroused us, shared his bodily functions,  and broken your heart. He will be missed until he most likely returns in April with a new project.

Bye, Jake.

Mary Rambin, beach hair, lost her iphone recently. She was forced by our non-recession economy to buy something that is not an iphone:

So I bought a new phone today (f@$! s#!+ ugh). Mason’s poo is more hi-tech than this thing. But what did I expect for $30. One text takes 20 minutes to type when you only have a phone pad. Crazy how spoiled we get as technology advances so quickly! Although this pic from the super pricey htc looks terrible so I’m not sure what they’re charging for. The bottom line for me is that I don’t have $700 laying around for a new iPhone, no shame in that, who does these days. The iPhone is the best bet in terms of having a phone that runs my life because it syncs with all of my Mac crap; Google phones and Blackberries don’t. However should I get my mitts on a schnazy google phone from their PR agency, I will gladly try it out and write about how their tech compares (wink wink, hint hint) to my iPhone 4G that dropped EVERY call, turned on Facetime for no reason, and called contacts while I was on the phone. For now, I’ll just be throwing myself a pity party and icing my thu mb.

Seriously, is this how this Crap works??? People just post on their tumblr that they want candles and phones and whatever else, and the PR flacks hie up and send it? I guess I just find it tacky, but I can understand Mary’s desperation – according to Sarah Lacy, more people have cell phones than there are toilets. Who wants to be one of those plebes!

Also wtf person doesn’t know about going on ebay and just buying an unlocked iphone? 700 bucks? Crazy. Oh well, good luck getting that free phone, Mary.