Messica, expert at branding, is now putting on the all-purpose don’t-really-want-to-work hat and looking for guess what kind of job?

Any super talented NYC people out there looking for a head of social media position for a major fashion brand? W some real-deal experience?15 minutes ago via web

e-mail me.14 minutes ago via web

Oh yes, because you want a petulant, lazy, entitled child with a twitter and a failing blog in charge of your brand! You know what, email ME, at least I know what “working” means.

Jessica Schroeder Quirk, blogging is her bidness, is trying a new tactic to get info for her media kit – she’s having her readers fill out a form:

If you’ve got a hot minute, help me out by answering a few questions!

The link takes you to what is clearly an attempt to get reader info for marketing purposes. Considering she only has one advertiser right now, and her attempts to make her Etsy boutique sponsored posts happen is fizzling, it’s no wonder that it’s actually come down to this.

How about getting a job? She had a good run, why is she putting up customer surveys like she’s Domino’s Pizza? Is all that arm waving at companies on twitter not working out?

@kmartdesign last xmas my husband gave me a blank sketchbk and the encouragement to write/draw my book!about 16 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®in reply to kmartdesign

Kmart, huh? Sure, why not. With stunning, original style like yesterday’s outfit:

Kmart might be a great fit. Unlike that men’s xs shirt.

It’s really just coming down to the fact that sponsors are moving on to the Next Big Things, and Messica is obviously trying to get some proof that her blog is worth continuing as her “business”. Instead of packing it in, having a baby, and getting a normal job, she’s going to cling to the only thing that gives her any identity as long as possible. It’s starting to make me kind of sad, really.

Jessica Quirk, who wore that, wore that today. As usual the kind and generous entruhpruhnur (who is also married) looked thin and healthy and happy! Maybe because she is finally trying to get on our good side by claiming “cat lady” status:

One year ago Adam and I rescued this little Gizmo. At the risk of being a complete cat lady, let me entertain you with some of his most photogenic snaps.

It’s really amazing how LIKABLE she is with a cat and a poncho, isn’t it? I really had to drop everything and let you guys know that by becoming a cat lady Jessica Quirk is now totally loved by GOMIBLOG, and we will never post about her in a negative way again.*

*Today is opposite day on GOMIBLOG.

In other news, Messica is coming to New York yet again:

December NYC trip booked!! Dec 9-12!42 minutes ago via web

We are so so happy that her income still allows her to zip about aimlessly to a city she really has no reason to visit every 3 weeks. For the GOMIBLOG staff member who bought her Christmas plane ticket home (for three whole days WOOHOO) this past weekend, putting her 300 under for rent, we send out positive vibes because that is how you get what you want from the universe. Just like Messica! Of whom we are SO JEALOUS!

Jessica Schroeder Quirk, waving her arms at sponsors is her full time job, is now yelling  YOOHOO again at people who can get her free house stuff:

Be still my beating heart! @RueMagazine is a dream come true!!about 19 hours ago via web

@designlovefest it is the best best best! when we FINALLY buy a house, I just hope I can get @_FromMeToYou out to shoot it for @RueMagazineabout 18 hours ago via web in reply to designlovefest

@ScotMeachamWood Love your feature in @ruemagazine!about 18 hours ago via web in reply to ScotMeachamWood

Ok. Ok. SIT DOWN, Jessica. The only time it is ok to go to such lengths for twitter attention is for Leonard Nimoy or maybe Moby if you’re really drunk (one time, people – one time and I can’t live it down).

And really, considering you have maybe 8 posts on your That’s SHILLY! blog, maybe wait until you have some content before you start asking people to have any interest in featuring your house (that you don’t have) just because you’re you.

Jessica Schroeder Quirk, gimme gimme, is getting more direct than ever in her demands for freebies:

Sing it with me! @jcrew.. there’s lots of things I want from you!!  2:07 PM Nov 12th via web

So how’d this tactic work out with Oscar de la Renta? With Starbucks? Could she be any more tacky? I get that she wants free stuff. I want free stuff. We all want free stuff. But it’s just crass to beg for free gift cards for Sonic or Franzia sponsorships by name dropping them on your site.  Every time she does this it makes me so angry that I have to get in my Toyota Prius and drive to Ikea to buy some pillows to lean on while I wear my Anthropologie coat. Stop being so shilly, Messica.

Jessica Quirk, fashion!, came to New York for “meetings” and “socializing”. By meetings she means one trip to “Random house“, which could mean the publishing company or the home of someone named Random – it’s hard to tell with her selective capitalization. Now I’m not a published author with a book deal for my book of Partypants Paper Dolls, but couldn’t she just have had a conference call? I’m sure there are things that require her signature or something, but that’s why they invented FedEx.

Anyway. While getting ready to spend a few days at her pad of tears and run around having coffee with other shillbloggers, ole Messica couldn’t be bothered to properly pack:

Just popping in to say holeo and share a few photos I took yesterday afternoon. I’ve had a really nice trip – great catch up sessions with my friends and some pretty exciting meetings. The only negative is that my packing skills on this one were not at their best and I didn’t bring much variety with my outfits. I’ve been more or less wearing the same thing the entire trip so no new outfit photo for today.  Life just gets in the way sometimes, right?

I think we can all agree that life DOES get in the way sometimes. There are days, weeks, I cannot do laundry or pick up my dry cleaning, or get to the grocery store because I’m just too tired after work. So I totally understand that maybe after working all day Messica doesn’t have the stamina left to plan three outfits to pack for her trip to New York. What’s that? Her job IS planning outfits? Oh.

Well maybe New York has inspired her  to really take her blog to the next level of shill:

New things. New projects. New attitude. Switch, flipped.about 15 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Any great small biz with awesome holiday gifts? Wanna do a boutique breakfast together? Email me!!about 1 hour ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

What a productive trip. She picked up a copy of “Ignore Everybody” because she really needs to learn how to tune out advice. She got a haircut which is most likely the reason for her lack of a pic, because otherwise it just means she couldn’t even be assed to do her JOB. She made plans to attend TED.

Let’s be honest here. It sounds like she just wanted to come back to New York and fart around with her blogger friends again and get a haircut; and if she misses her New York life that much after only a month I don’t really see that whole move to Broomcloset working out. Seriously, how long is Mr. Schroeder going to put up with his jobless wife flying back and forth to New York to play grabass with her other blogger friends? You moved to Indiana, Messica. Stop trying to cling to the I LIVE IN BROOKLYN AND I AM A STYLE BLOGGER identity.

She’s leaving this morning to go back to Broomcloset, thank God. Let’s hope her OMG HUSBAND puts a stop to this idiocy.

Jordan Reid Berkow Fail, shillmama, is apparently forming an alliance with another tragic victim of online bullying – GOMIBLOG’s Midwest Messica.

what to wear to go meet @whatiworefor coffee? this would be an excellent day to own some rainboots. sigh.32 minutes ago via web

Ok, first of all, how many times does it need to be pointed out to people that announcing you are hanging out with someone is totally lame social media climby desperate sads. Woooo attention everyone, I’m hanging out with so-and-so. Seriously dude?

Second, what could these two POSSIBLY have to discuss, besides how it feels to be raked over the commenter coals on a daily basis? I mean after they’ve discussed being omgmarried, getting their hair done in New York, and wearing clothes, what else is there?

And can you imagine being their waiter/barista?