Jessica Mrs. Quirk, married, taunted her twitter followers with some news – but not the news we are all waiting for:

Man oh man, do I have some hot gossip to share!about 16 hours ago via web

(please keep in mind i’m drinking a brew right now, so no, I’m not pregnant)about 16 hours ago via web

The O/U here at GOMIBLOG headquarters is still December for the baby announcement, but in the meantime keep stuffing yourself with beer and ice cream while complaining about losing weight, honey.

It’s been a week since she mentioned it, so Jessica Quirk is making sure we don’t forget she had a wedding:

Got the photos from my photographer from the wedding!!! Putting together posts now! about 4 hours ago via web

You may not know this, but the outcome of her wedding was she got herself a husband, and her husband can cook!

Thank god I married a chef. Nice dinner tonight @quirk Saturday, September 25, 2010 8:04:31 PM via Twitter for BlackBerry®

I know, it’s like she won the husband lottery, right?

Off topic, I can’t wait until November when the hints about a beautiful miracle and wonderful accident and yadda yadda start popping up. If she thinks it’s hard to lose weight now wait until she’s packed on 50 lbs of baby weight. The meltdown when she discovers nothing at Modcloth will fit her anymore will be hilariously sad.

I hope you whatiwore readers are prepared for 4 more weeks of Jessica Schroeder Mrs. Quirk’s Wedding Posts reminding you that Jessica got married and had a wedding and is now married, because she had a wedding. Wedding wedding wedding!

For the past 3 days Messica Lovepuppy Quirk, What I Wore is her full time job, has complained about how she doesn’t feel like doing the crap she is supposed to be blogging about:

Its raining, I’m hung over and its an hour to get to Lincoln Center. Might be playing hookie today7:13 AM Sep 12th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

I keep trying to get off the couch and just keep landing back. Its an HGTV marathon kind of sunday with twitter on commercials9:41 AM Sep 12th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Invited to your show by 3 in house people and hassled at the door. No time for that kind of BS! Outta there!!Mon Sep 13 2010 08:50:07 (Pacific Daylight Time) via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Debating on whether or not to trek to Lincoln Center today. I am so behind on book business and have a fast approaching deadline (TMRW!)Tue Sep 14 2010 06:33:11 (Pacific Daylight Time) via web

Yikes. Thinking I’m skipping the rest of nyfw with the exception of odlr (its what I look forward to most!!)about 19 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Let me get this straight: her job is getting up every day, putting on clothes, and twirling around while her husband takes her pic and writing the words “modcloth” underneath. Her other project is drawing pictures of herself and writing up her “book” content (“layers are best for fall! wear a coat and cute rain boots in winter! skirts for spring and summer!”).  Somehow she has convinced the bored women in middle America that she is some kind of fashion expert, and bragged about how many people wanted her at fashion week.

So now she decides she is simply too tired/stressed out/busy to make it to Lincoln Center, because @quirk is making pasta and there is a Lifetime movie on and it’s raining. I don’t know about Messica Quirk, but the rest of us have to go to work. Even in the rain. Even if Plain Truth is on lifetime. Even hungover, even if our OMGHUSBAND is making pasta.

I don’t want to hear another word about how HARD she works.

Did you know Messica is married? And has a husband? Oh, and she is doing some Fashion Week stuff or something.

Great phone chat and advice from my husband. Dang! I love him!!! about 23 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Hanging out waiting for #adam to start. Saying it makes me think of my adam @quirk about 22 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

All of my blogger girl friends were so cute to keep calling me ‘Mrs. Quirk’ tonight 🙂 about 12 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Can’t wait for adam to get back from Indiana today!! about 3 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Since Mr. Schroeder is returning to his wife, maybe if you folks are lucky Messica will stay home today:

Its raining, I’m hung over and its an hour to get to Lincoln Center. Might be playing hookie today about 2 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Oh NO! Will FWNY come to a grinding halt without the most important married blogger of our time??? Can nothing be done??? Poopo? Guys? What do you mean no one cares?!

With only two days left before the internets event of the century, it’s time to post the totally not exclusive story for your Two Twats And A Wedding updates. How are all those stressful preparations going so far???

Adam Quirk apparently does not regret throwing his balls into lovepuppy’s thrifted purse:

Last day in nyc as a single man, just got propositioned by a crackhead at Wendy’s. Surely a sign that I’ve made the right decision.9:09 AM Aug 31st via twidroid

Meanwhile, Midwest Mess is busy getting her “it’s MY day bortches!” on:

Love all the sweet emails from my married friends!! Thank you girls!!1:30 PM Sep 1st via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Drinking a glass of wine with my mom and going over all of the last minute details… and let me tell you- the zinnias they grew are amazing about 23 hours ago via web

Suddenly, Hurricane Earl steps in to cause the most devastating hurricane related ruination since Katrina:

Grrr. Hurricane travel issues 🙁about 5 hours ago via web

@eatsleepwear I’m here, it’s just my sister/maid-of-honor, another bridesmaid and all my NYC friends! Yikes!about 5 hours ago via web in reply to eatsleepwear

In the face of such tragedy, however, the Quirks soldiered on, with Jessica bravely hiding her tears to take care of the final details of their fabled union:

Marriage license – check!!!about 2 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Stay tuned for updates on GOMIBLOG, because if you miss this journey you will never be able to talk to Jessica again without hearing the whole story of her Magical Rainbow Day Of Special Princessdom.

UPDATES:

The mania begins!

@greekalicious I can’t wait to see you! We are busy bees over here… everything is going to be wonderful!!!about 3 hours ago via web in reply to greekalicious

that zen bride thing I had going on? that’s gone. starting to go crazy.about 2 hours ago via web

@ddschroeder Dan!! We need help at the house!!! When will you be over?about 2 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to ddschroeder

@erinloechner girl! Can’t wait to see you. Crafts galore to complete!8 minutes ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to erinloechner

EVERYONE GET TO JESSICA’S HOUSE IMMEDIATELY. There are crafts to complete, people!!!!

Been waiting outside a JoAnn’s for thirty minutes for my ride. Not thrilled.36 minutes ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

What the hole, this is HER WEEKEND! The only thing Jessica Quirk should be waiting for over the next 39 hours is the rainbow which will inevitably appear at the moment of their marital kiss! My Jehova, does NO ONE know how to treat brides anymore???