Julia Allison, serious actress, doesn’t care what you haters think about her makeup – she thinks she looks fiiiierce:

With Annmarie Tendler, who has done my makeup for years now … Ever since 2007.  She really does a lovely job.  Today she tried out a new HD foundation from Makeup Forever, and I have to say, I’m a pretty big fan.  At less than half the price of my Chanel foundation (which is about $68 a pop, I think), I might make the switch.

So call her a tranny makeup spackle addict. She likes how she looks! She doesn’t think she looks like a prostihooker when her rent day falls during fleet week. She looks lovely! Suck it haters.

Julia Allison, hater of publicity stunts, is implying your Vimeo accounts aren’t safe!

After a supposedly private video was shared on RBNS, Julia emailed moderators of the site accusing them of hacking into her Vimeo account to access the video:

Subject: I don’t know how

you got either of those videos, because BOTH were password protected until (apparently) tonight – and now they’re password protected again, but if I ever – EVER – hear about you hacking into my private videos again, I swear to god I will get a lawyer and sue you.

RBNS moderators deny the allegation, stating that such a charge is easily refutable by contacting Vimeo to find out how access to the videos was enabled.

It might be a good idea for Vimeo to look into their logs and see exactly what the situation is, since Julia’s claims basically imply that Vimeo is insecure. Better safe than donkey!

Julia Allison, soon to be forgotten, is once again threatening to take an internet hiatus.

This post has been a long time coming, and I think it will surprise no one to hear that I’m taking a leave from lifecasting.  How long will I be gone?  Perhaps only a few weeks.  Maybe a few months.  And yes, there is the possibility (however implausible) that I’ll never lifecast again.  I love the solidity of closing the door to the past, of ending this life chapter with a definitive thud, all “Well, that’s THAT!”

Yeah it goes on and on, whatever. Hasn’t she gone ‘dark’ before and it lasted all of 2 days?  She’s just jumping on the having-an-epiphany-going-offline trend that happens every year at springtime.

Srsly, have you noticed this? Every year around the beginning of April all these tumblrs and bloggers go ‘I need to take a break and blah blah discover blah blah me me me blah blah I might be back blah thanks for reading blah blah better person’ or some variation of the NEVAR BLOGGING AGAIN mad libs.

Why can’t people just grasp that when the weather gets nice you start feeling antsy, or fidgety, or wanting a change, and it has nothing to do with some huge soul opening inner realisation? It’s just called spring, people! Calm down, have a glass of Arbor Mist, and stop with the flouncing.

Julia Allison, happy and healthy, has an annoying habit of mentioning something and, if the outcome is not to her liking, never mentioning it again.

For example, Ms. Allison made sure to let us ALLLLLLL know that Meghan McCain had agreed to listen to Jaba talk about herself for 3 hours. If not for that pesky deadline that people who do actual writing have, Julia would have been breaking bread with the greatest political mind of our time. Instead it was rescheduled for Friday.

Well that was supposed to happen two days ago, and instead of endless tweets about how ineffable and tiny and cute Megatits is, we got a vague mention of being out in New York and eating eggs at 5 am. Not that Megatits was much more open. All we heard from the betitted sphinx was mention of repairing her high heel with superglue, and some “life’s what you make it” tweet that means…who knows?

I’m disappointed that we didn’t get a full breakdown of this meeting of the minds. I mean, did they meet and Meghan just forbid Julia from tweeting and taking pics? Did Meghan blow her off yet again, hoping she’ll get the hint? Did they solve world hunger and end poverty? WHAT?

So, since we all know that Julia never provides us with follow up or content unless someone calls her a liar on her google alert, I’m going to call bullCrap on the dinner happening at all and predict we won’t hear another word about it.

Julia Allison, sensible eater and champion of regular exercise, put down her cupcake long enough to let Americans know it is time to take responsibility for their health:

Poop yes, we have a moral obligation as a nation to give our people adequate health care (read: insurance). http://bit.ly/aW9yPm about 9 hours ago via web

And in return, we have a moral obligation to engage in preventative medicine, ie: STOP EATING SO MUCH CRAP so we don’t get Type II Diabetes! about 9 hours ago via web

Let’s do a quick recap, shall we? Miss Julia has no job, sits around cramming cupcakes and Houston’s 2000 calorie burgers down her gullet, puts on her 300 dollar pink sneakers once a month to go pose at a gym, and somehow still she manages to have time to tell us how to be healthy. Is there anything this superwoman CAN’T do???

Julia Allison, best used by 2006, awoke at (probably) 2pm Saturday for her Day of Pay For Access To The Bald Brayhole and spent a world-wind 3 hours apparently tweeting and taking pics before retiring at…what is that, 5:30 pm?

At the end of the evening at The Four Seasons …

Prom King’s Valentine’s Day

Um…unless you are 75 your evening of the most epic romance bullCrap ever should not end at what appears to be late afternoon. But maybe we are wrong and it’s dawn, and this is the post all night Vadgeburning Day sexathon pic taken at 6am. You never know.

But she had had a busy day putting her hooves on surfaces that did not need her feet on them:

Coincidentally it looks like Donk has found her flattering pose of the month: right side with feet pulled to chest.

Then it was back to the Whore Seasons where Wallet Thing tried to recreate the pivotal “don’t kiss on the lips” scene from Pretty Woman:

Which probably led to really quiet, sort of awkward fumblesex with lots of ‘feelings’ or whatever. Anyway, after all the pelts and tears, it was time for some food. Nothing says sexytimes like the smell of onion and egg oozing from your pores.

At least she is eating, I guess, but does this mean she is now ovo-lacto-pescatarian? Or was that just always implied?

Anyway, good for Prom King for getting some at least. It only cost him 5000 bucks and Julia Allison’s voice for hours on end. I’m happy for him.

PROTIP: Real Dolls can’t talk. I just say.

thatgirlallison, of the pink Craphole allisons, has weighed in heavily on Julia Allison’s behavior during Hair. Her post begins with the high handed proclamation that SHE is in THEAH-TAH:

The only thing that makes me angrier than (or as angry as) homophobia is bad theatre etiquette.  Theatre is my thing, it’s what I [want to] do [produce], I’m a theatre person.

Got that? Good. Because after reading Julia’s tweets from the seats going on about Hair and how she hated it, Allison made a decision: from now on, she is a theatre manners vigilante and bortches better just be AWARE:

I apologize for the completely negative tone of this post, but that’s completely classless and unacceptable to me.  Had I been sitting anywhere near her and saw the glow of her iPhone, it would’ve been confiscated (by yours truly) and in the possession of an usher until she exited the building.

It IS rather classless and rude to sit on your iphone through a performance. You know what’s a totally classy response to such behavior? Snatching someone’s property and making a bfd about giving it to a confused usher in the middle of the performance. That’s a wonderfully understated and non-disruptive way to respond to such things. You go girl! Show her how to act with herself!