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Mommy Blogging Scary Mommy, supposed to be funny, has a delightful post up titled “25 Ways You Know You Have A Boy“. Apparently this is supposed to be some kind of funny listicle about parenting a son. In reality it’s a tl;dr modern version of defining male gender with snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails. I’m going to ignore points #2 (“A girl makes eyes at your son and you have this weird urge to pull her aside and call her a “slut” (whether she’s 6 or 16).”) and #6 (“Your child asks you to marry him and you’re totally considering it.”) because I don’t even know why these kinds of thoughts would be happening unless your son is named Oedipus. But overall, her little list could really apply to children of either sex, right? I mean I loved “Airplane” and “Fletch”, regularly took my pants off in public, and rode the golden retriever. I’m also pretty sure my parents stepped on my legos, and guess what – I have a vagina. Am I the only one that doesn’t really understand the humor in this list? I just don’t get it, but maybe you have to have a son to understand. Kelle Hampton, enjoying the monetizing things, is well known for using her children’s lives for attention. Well now it seems Land of Nod, purveyor of children’s furniture and decor, is also using her kids to sell you things. The company has featured Kelle’s photo of her daughter and newborn son on their May catalog cover, saying that her children will appear on several upcoming catalog covers as well. For May’s cover, they are using a photo Kelle claims was snapped at the moment her daughter first met her new brother: From my hospital bed I watched as my daughter protectively embraced my new son, slowly and silently bringing her nose to his until they touched. And they stayed like that for a good minute while I wiped tears from my cheeks and reached for my camera. Here she just met him and yet suddenly, he belonged to her. That’s all very touching – except for the fact that, in the birth story published on Kelle’s own blog in February, the real story seems to be quite different: I didn’t cry when the girls met their brother but rather smiled and sat calmly on the bed, watching them, marveling at the fact that it seemed so meant to be–like he’d always been here and they’d always loved him. So which is it? Is this just another case of Kelle rewriting history in order to make a better story? Because if she’s going to do that it might behoove her to go edit the original story before trying to peddle a new version to Crate & Barrel.
It seems Heather Armstrong and Matt Tuff, the gentleman friend she has yet to mention on her blog, are starting to publicly acknowledge each other – at least on instagram. On a post early Wednesday Dooce wrote that she was on her way yet again to New York City, to which (hopefully both halves of) Tuff’s nose responded “See you soon.”: Raven, expert on men, is doing what many women do this time of year – striving to get that perfect “bikini body”. She has several bathing suit focused activities looming in the next month: Which means I need to be skinny, like, yesterday. And to that end, she has posted a brilliant plan to get into clavicle popping shape: …I just don’t have time to do it the so-called “healthy” way. So this is my plan… Telling readers “Any helpful tips to lose weight fast are welcomed” and reminding them that “health is currently not a factor”, she received suggestions to add “legal Speed” to her plan and the agreement from another that “If my stomach isn’t eating it’s own insides, then it’s not working.” Look, I’m a fatty who throws Cheez-Its at Special K commercials for making me feel guilty about my eating habits. But I know I can’t be in the minority in thinking this is a bit extreme, and squirming at all the women cheering her on and basically normalizing this idea. Cecily Kellogg, of “polarizing hair” fame, was at the Mom 2.0 summit this weekend. While there she sent out this tweet, inviting attendees to come find her in exchange for free product: The problem is, Diva Cup is not a Mom 2.0 sponsor – and Mom 2.0 has rules about that: The entire Mom 2.0 Summit space is reserved for official sponsors who support the Mom 2.0 Summit. These individuals have earned the right to be represented properly, respectfully, and exclusively throughout the venue during the event. Please honor the Mom 2.0 Summit, its sponsors and attendees by honoring this. In fact, Cecily herself wrote about the practice of pimping your personal sponsors at blogger conferences less than a year ago, claiming “conference sponsors are officially on alert” to such activities. So can someone explain to me why what she’s doing is ok? Though she said these events “leave generous wiggle room to allow bloggers the ability to use sponsorship as a tool to getting to the conference”, the third bullet point on her not-to-do list stated “You CANNOT distribute material or swag for your sponsor”. So which is it? Is it ok for some people to pass out swag, but not others? Or is it only ok for Cecily “do as I say not as I do” Kellogg? Josh, man half of the sponsored family known as “Love Taza“, posted a picture of his daughter to instagram yesterday that caused a few people to ask “wtf”? Apparently the image features his toddler daughter running about with Q-Tips sticking out of her ears: The image obviously wound up sparking comments about the danger of “punctured little ear drums” because the entire point of the internet is to point out to people when they are basically celebrating their idiocy. And also because who lets their toddler run around with crap stuck into their ears? I mean, really Josh. Come on. Sami Rigelsky, “powerful prayer warrior“, is a mother of six and the alleged “bff” of the morally upright MckMama. Determined to adopt a Down Syndrome child, she was delighted when her husband saw a child in his Facebook feed – “As soon as I saw her I knew. I cried. I knew.” The question that instantly rose to the surface was “How on EARTH will we afford this?” An adoption from her country is upwards into 31 THOUSAND dollars. We don’t have that in the bank. 🙂 That’s when we know God spoke to our hearts that it will have to be of and from HIM. We had to step out, in faith, and let Him do His thing. So, we sent in an application to her government for pre-approval. We heard back on the 4th day that it was a YES!!! Yes, without any funds prepared the couple applied for the child anyway – because why do any financial planning whatsoever when you can beg your facebook pals for the money? I have 1473 Facebook friends. If every one of them gave $21.20 to our adoption fund, we’d be at our goal…when we first felt called to Ava I said that I wasn’t even concerned with the money. Sami’s statements that “Countless times I have seen Him provide the way where there is NO other way” and that “He has said that He WILL meet our needs according to HIS riches” come on the heels of a post begging people to buy t-shirts or alternately to “please feel free to donate through the ADOPTION FUND button also located to the right”. I’m aware that adoption is an expensive prospect and that nowadays it’s common practice to ask the internet to fund your life choices. But maybe you should save up a bit on your own before asking strangers to pay for a seventh child from a foreign country?
Scary Mommy Will Use Gender Roles As Humor
Kelle Hampton Will Rewrite Her Birth Story
Dooce Mommy Blogging
Internets Continues To Scratch Head Over Dooce And Tuff Relationship
Raven Wants To Be Effing Skinny
I know, I know…it’s “politically correct” to say I “want to be healthy.”
Eff that. I want to be effing skinny.
One protein shake, three times a day.
Period.
Solid food will not touch my lips for at least an entire month, if not more.
Is Cecily “Suitcasing” Again?
Mr. Taza Posts Eardanger Pic, Internets Has Discussion
Sami Would Like You To Buy Her A New Baby