Kimberly Hall, has teenage sons, would like all you teenage girls to stop being so slutty on the internet and tempting her pure little manchildren to think about sex:

I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra. I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout…Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?  You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you? Neither do we.

I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure trying to keep a teenage boy from thinking about sex is about as easy as unspilling milk. Mamabear Kim, however, has a plan to keep their minds free of sexual ideas:

And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts…in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent.

That’s right you trashy little Delilahs – one braless duckface selfie in your bedroom and you are banned from the Hall Internets. Think about that while you’re lipglossing up for instagram, you hussy!

The internet continues to burn with the story of the mommy blogger who alleges her son was accosted in a Davenport, FL area Wal-Mart. The story has spread to MSN, the Daily Mail, even Gawker after being posted by the mother herself on reddit and Huffington Post.

But almost from the start people expressed doubts about the veracity of the story. Internet searches revealed background claims by the mother that only confirmed for many that her previous statement that she used to be a “pathological liar” might apply to this tale as well.

Now removed from her site claims included having survived 3 failed kidnapping attempts and 1 successful one; claiming to be a stewardess for an airline and quitting just weeks before the flight crashed twice in three months; that she was “meant to be in NYC on 9/11, but I cancelled last minute”; that she missed catching a train that later crashed. When called on the truthiness of these claims, Katie responded:

And yes, much of that list was tongue in cheek to drag out some of my sillier stories into much bigger dramas than they were. When I wrote it more than a year ago, I drew people’s attention to it as a FUNNY (though accurate) representation of some of the stuff I’ve been through in my life.

Other claims include suffering from Celiac disease, diabetes, lactose intolerance, BPD, manic depression, ADHD, and apparently her breasts are so spectacular they cause bar fights.

Soon after the internet began questioning why, if it’s a big enough deal to craft what she no doubt hoped would be a viral blog post, she didn’t contact the store or the police Katie began claiming she was being harassed. Saying her milk supply was drying up and that she was receiving “threats of pizza deliveries to my house”, she closed down her site. 30 minutes later Katie claimed to be on the phone with the sheriff’s department “waiting for them to show  up”. Despite a fatal car crash that closed down roads for two hours, according to her a deputy arrived, took a report, and left within an hour of her call.

Debate continues online with some people saying it doesn’t matter if the story is true because it started a discussion about gender issues, and others pointing out that if the story is untrue, using such issues for page views and attention is probably doing a disservice to the LGBT community.

I was unable to reach the Polk County Sheriff’s Department for confirmation or statement and Wal-Mart has yet to publicly respond to Katie’s claim. We await further developments and welcome any tips or information. We will update this post as information becomes available.

UPDATE: Apparently Katie has now been placed under psych observation. From the Orlando Sentinel:

According to the Lake County Sheriff’s Office report, the Polk County Sheriff’s Office became aware of Carpenter’s blog post detailing the alleged incident at a Four Corners-area Walmart.

Since Polk County was eventually mentioned specifically in the blog as being the responding agency, a Sheriff’s Office lieutenant requested a deputy go meet with Carpenter.

When the Polk deputy met with Carpenter — it’s not clear when that happened — she began making suicidal statements, the Lake County report said.

A deputy added that “possible video of the incident may be obtained and viewed to in fact verify that the incident actually did occur or if it was all made up.”

UPDATE: HuffPo has removed her post saying “We have also confirmed with investigators that they are in contact with the author.”

UPDATE: She has now been released and told The Ledger that “she doesn’t care whether deputies find proof in the Wal-Mart surveillance footage.” She added “I don’t think it will do any good…I just want it to go away.””

UPDATE: The “A Mother Thing” Facebook page has disappeared.

Katie, a blogger with kids who apparently suffers from Munchausen-by-drama, has had a crazy life. Sounding like the first 30 minutes of any “Final Destination” film combined with a Lifetime movie, she claims her existence has been peppered with near death experiences – by trainwreck, plane crash, almost being in NYC during 9/11 – and also claims to be a victim of a kidnapping.

Now it seems she has a new drama to bask in. Apparently Katie’s son wore a flower headband to Wal-Mart and got assaulted by some burly camo-wearing guy:

Out of nowhere a big booming voice rang out. “THAT’S a BOY?!” The man was overly large with a bushy beard and a camouflage shirt with the arms cut off. He had tattered shorts and lace up work boots with no laces. I could smell the fug of cigarette smoke surrounding him, and there was a definite pong of beer on him.

“Yes,” I said simply, still smiling.

With no notice, the man stepped forward, grabbed the headband off of Dexter’s head and threw it to the bottom of our shopping cart. He then cuffed Dexter around the side of his head (not hard, but that is not the point) and said with a big laugh, “You’ll thank me later, little man!”

At the same time as I stepped forward, Dexter grabbed his head where the man had smacked him and threw his other hand forward, stomping his foot and shouting, “NO!” I got between my son and this man and said very firmly, “If you touch my son again, I will cut your dang hands off.”

The guy snarled at me, looked at Dexter with disgust and said, “Your son is a faggot.” He then started sauntering out, but not before he threw over his shoulder, “He’ll get shot for it one day.”

You’re probably wondering how long it took her to speak to the manager and call the cops, right? Well, she didn’t do either of those things. Instead, she came home and posted about it on facebook and her blog. As readers urged her to get the security footage, report the incident to a manager or a local news station, or better yet the police, Katie continually demurred from taking any action – even writing a long explanatory post:

My two days of thinking on the whole thing has made me believe that the guy saw a woman with two little boys on her own, one of the boys wearing a girly headband, and he thought he was doing me a favor by teaching my boy to be more manly.

People have been calling bull on the entire story since she seems more excited about the huge boom in traffic caused by her story than in actually doing anything about what happened. But since the story is now getting some major media traction it’s surely only a matter of time before someone pulls the security footage at Wal-Mart and confirms or debunks this lady’s tale. Until then I hope she enjoys the pageviews she craves so much.

BreAnne, team Edward, wants to explain to us why “America is not an equal opportunity country”:

Today, there isn’t anything a black person can’t do, if they so choose, that they may not have had the option of back then. Vote? Yup! Attend the school of their choice? Yup! Go to college? Yup! Get a job? Yup! This is all awesome!

Now, here’s my problem. The new rights provided did not cease when things were equal. They have shifted over the other way.

Now before you just assume you know where a white 26 year old stay home mom of three living in Texas will head with this, let’s keep an open mind:

Black Americans have significantly MORE rights and have shifted the roles of racism. Segregation still exists, but on THEIR terms…Segregation still exists, but in a way that black Americans have deemed acceptable because they have redeemed the exclusivity factor…racism is against white people is just as hateful and in your face now, as it was the other way in the 1950s and 60s.

Nope, went just the direction you assumed. Pulling out the tried and true reverse racism arguments about how white people can’t use the n word, white people can’t apply for certain scholarships, why can’t a white woman be Miss Black USA. She then goes into the Zimmerman trial in a long and incoherent ‘white people deserve justice too’ ramble that I can’t be farted to copypasta until I have some coffee.

She then regales us with her views on gay rights. She is totally open and omg let’s all be equal except you’re going to hole you sinners but hey whatever, that’s fine, we have to accept it since people just keep letting their kids be gay now that we took Christianity out of everything. But no no that’s fine! Really! Not a bigot! As long as they don’t get all uppity like the blacks did she’s totally cool with the gays!

Personally, I think everyone’s bedroom habits should be kept out of politics and kept in the bedroom. We all have our sins and will all be judged for them equally when we meet St. Peter at the pearly gates of Heaven. But lets not let this equality struggle fall into the same excess of rights that I was previously talking about. Gay and lesbian rights should not ever over rule the rights of straight couples.

Maybe I’m Americaning wrong, but I wasn’t aware that civil rights were a zero sum game where in order for some other people to have some rights, I have to lose some rights. Maybe I need to take a civics class or something.

Anyway, I do love to see the Template For Perfect American Values types try and play both sides; talking about how you believe in equal rights and are totally cool with various genders, sexual orientations, races, comes off a bit flat if you then go on to talk about how they are too privileged and we should “Stop letting the few whiners get away with destroying everyone’s rights.” Just save yourself a lot of typing and post that you’re sick of all the non-white non-straight non-Christian people being allowed to breathe your air so you can get back to discussing important things, like the next “Twilight” book.

Update: She has moved her post.