While you're at work complaining about your stapler, Rachel and her boyfriend David Karp are sitting in bed eating confections and laughing at you fools who are still in a cubicle! Finally crashing at 2am at the Hotel Arts in Barcelona Suck it poors!

At last our long slow slide into the abyss of pain and lonliness is over: Jakob Lodwick is blogging again! This is an audio recording of an exorcism. Specifically: I found myself increasing bothered by a “demon” inside my brain who would urge me to ‘hurry up and move on to the next thing’ — not in words, but emotionally, prodding me to rush because, supposedly, there was something more important in the future. Once I became aware of him, I found it nearly impossible to focus on my work — not only did the demon distract me, but my...

Rachel Sklar, of the Rachel Sklars, had a bit of a skiff today with Conservative New Media. While smarming about some stupid article by Glynnis MacNicol, Sklar pulled out her makeup and tried to put lipstick on the grizzly bear: I disagree with Glynnis about Palin again: http://bit.ly/djqTu @ConservNewMedia it must be because I'm ugly, right? about 6 hours ago from TweetDeck At which point CNM tweeted back an hilarious truth (come on Rachel, it kind of is): @rachelsklar -- stop being a media whore lapdog parroting points. You're smarter than that. Have some self-respect, and defend a woman. about...

So a few of you seem to want to know 'who the is that Sean Percival dickbag you keep posting?' Sean and his wife Dita Von Sexycans run the website lalawag which makes him sort of the Nick Denton of Los Angeles I suppose. Anyway, he and Dita basically hang out with tech hookers and go to parties, and then post about it, which leads to lots of lolarious photos of them in lolicious outfits. Such as, that. Let's start by saying that I saw this, snorted, and yelled "Oh you're SO COOL, Brewster!" at my laptop. Then I saw...

Julia Allison has just had a night full of way important people that she knows and you don't. Obviously the highlight of Juju's night was when omgkevinrose TALKED TO HER. You guys. He talked to her! With Miss Rachel Sklar at the beginning of the evening, at the Standard Hotel for the Diggs Drinks.  I saw all of my favorite people there (Caroline McCarthy, Charles Forman, Glynnis MacNicol, Lockhart Steele, Alex Albrecht, Aubrey Sabala, Kevin Rose, Jay Adelson) but wasn’t really in the mood to take photos.  I’m barely wearing any makeup, and I was just … well, PMSing …...

OMGBEARS McCarthy, Meghan McCain's only competitor in huge tracts of land, has basically just made me feel like the laziest human being on the planet: Managed to sneak in a nice quick 3.5 mile run before hopping the train to NYC. Downside: I'm hungry and all I have is a fun size Kit-Kat bar about 12 hours ago from TweetDeck If Tits McGee up there can go jogging even in the face of  a possible concussion or a broken nose, then I seriously have no excuse. Well, except for hating exercise. Or ya know, moving. Anything that's not napping I...

Cary Randolph, rad ass sk8tr grrl, continues to rapturously worship BroJim's: An ode to Brother Jimmy's BBQ. (sung to the tune of the Davy Crockett theme song) Found on a corner in Murray Hill Home base for every Southern Jack and Jill This is where they flock when they need something real. Fill up on brisket and a tall cold pils. Brother! Brother Jimmy’s! King of the fratty bars. Wednesday night is ladies’ night every week. Boys, tip up your ball caps and take a peek. Their shots are strong, and their draughts are weak, And when you leave, of...

This post is to inform you that Kevin Rose, provider of self-help reading material to famewhores, is making his way to NYC: packing for my NYC trip, excited for the live diggnation on tuesday: http://bit.ly/36cvU8 - hope you all can make it about 8 hours ago from Tweetie Just wanted to make sure Julia Allison had time to clear her schedule so she could sit around hoping he'd call. You're welcome honey.

Hey @chamillionaire you in silicon valley this friday? want to invite you to our CrunchUp real time event. about 5 hours ago from web So uh, hey Chamillionaire, you wanna like, hang out sometime? Cuz we are having this SICK BREWSTER this weekend! I mean, it's more like a get together really. Ok, ever been to a lanparty? It's sort of like that, but with a bunch of boring, full-of-themselves asshampers who ya know, don't daisy chain for Wolfenstein 3D. It's superfun. If you wanna like, come out and listen to us talk about ourselves and Crap. You can talk...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idvHyzq-gKY] Randi Z, sister of the facebook dude and bff of Julia Allison, has treated us all to her musical stylings in the interest of "net neutrality". Oh yes my friends - that's the 'ineffable' Randi singing and uh, dancing. You haven't seen anything this upsetting and lol worthy since Brooke Hogan decided she could sing.

Nick McGlynn, photographer, may have some steamy sexy sex sex floating around on video. As comments in the previous post say: Creepy! While it's possible (and we hope, probable) that the visual vom referred to is this incident, who knows what Nick does in his secret sexytimes? I mean, a popular playboy like Nick, who gets any lady he wants? There could be hundreds of videos. Anyone know anything about this? Because if it's out there I want a copy!

GPOYW: look-at-my-new-coat edition! $33! Ok, I won't make any "pepto bismol mascot" jokes, but I will point out that this Crap is just out of hand. You are 27 years old, Allison. OMG pink all the time stops being cute on anyone but Elle Woods when you pass 23 years old, mkay? I know, you think it's your "thing". Pink everyday. It's your "signature". Well your signature thing is ignorant. Cut the pink Crap out already. I know you had that brain injury, but surely even you can understand a request put that plainly.

Look at that intimidating scowl! I am feeling rather bad ass lately. (These comments will elicit scoffs and mockery from my friends.) Maybe it's just my absolute hatred for 99% of the personal blogs out there that makes me hate this Crap so much. I even hate my own personal blog. All personal blogs are full of the same inane drivel that maybe you and one other person find funny or relevant. The rest of the internets, however, gets to read Crap like this: EVG: LSP still wishes she was a chola. She's tough. CRF: And KSG is the man-slayer....

Emily Brill, ultimate sleep inducer, has had a pretty dull twitter lately. This week's highlights? Wow. I was born in 1982, so 1973 (when the Supreme Court ruled on Roe) really seems like ages ago. Wild: http://bit.ly/jo2RA8:31 PM Nov 7th from web Why anyone with an IQ above room temperature would underestimate Rupert Murdoch is beyond me. He might not be on Tweeter, but he does okay.2:03 AM Nov 10th from web RT @clairecm RT @stephcliff RT @koblin ...the new yorker masthead http://bit.ly/2WIvea So many writers! A happy antidote to sad mag lifeabout 16 hours ago from web Ok, she's...

While you quiver in your cubicle and wipe away tears of of abject terror in the face of crippling economic failure and rising job losses, David Karp and Rachel are skipping about Europe with money and smiles. So far I can't determine that they're doing anything beyond hanging out with people who use tumblr and making posh hotel room service prepare them grill cheese sandwiches. They are currently on a plane to Nice. Suck it, poors!

In the three harrowing weeks since Jake announced he was taking an internet break, we've all been trying to keep busy. I took up cross stitch and juliaspublicist opened an Etsy store selling xerox copies of people's asses, and we both watched a lot of zombie movies. But nothing replaces Jake Lodwick. Well finally we are down to just one more week of waiting, because on November 17th Mr. Lodwick Sir will be back online! In the meantime, Jake would like to know: how old are you? I am curious, before I start blogging again in 12 days, how old...

Kevin Rose, the unexplained pussy magnet, is now willing to share his overflow with you. That's right, single gents - Kevin is now helping YOU get laid! single guys, tweet my friend @poshy: RT: Tonight I wish I had a boyfriend to sit on my couch with, drink beer, eat pizza and play games w/14 minutes ago from Tweetie Who is this leftover lady? Her twitter bio describes her as "Freelance Developer. Coffee Lover. Culinary fangirl. Gamer. Suicide Girl." So basically she is a one of a kind, never-before-seen-on-teh-intarwebs vagina haver! Do Kevo a solid and hit up poshy! Don't...

Mary Rambin, honorary citizen of Mexico, has joined the illustrious ranks of webaritos appearing in court: I accidentally ran a stop sign while in Houston this summer. Because I don’t have a Texas liscence, I can’t get rid of it with defensive driving, so I hired one of Houston’s go-to “get it thrown out” lawyers for $75 to hopefully have the case dismissed. Per usual, I’m the one in a hundred that has to go through the whole ordeal. And my cop is the one who ALWAYS shows up. So here I sit awaiting my fate, praying for a break...

Julia Allison, ballerina, has pretty much spent the last two years trying to recreate some mythical triumphant condom fairy costume. You know the one that supposedly rocketed her to fame on Gawker (remember that site?) During this year's sad effort to top her Famous Gawker Halloween, ole Jules spent a month having panic attacks about getting some Care Bear costume. When she couldn't convince anyone to construct one for free in 12 hours, she proceeded to crash parties in that getup you see above. She took pics. She made a really pathetic video. She was back in her hotel at...

Paultato Carr, the man who wears these shoes, has somehow snagged himself a woman.  For the past few weeks his twitter has been peppered with references to some girl sniffing around his tater tot. Apparently she has now graduated to being referred to as "other half": OH: "Well you don't have to worry about me. We'll never be having sex again."4:09 AM Nov 4th from Seesmic OH: (me:) "Things just got a bit XKCD" / (Her:) "I've always wanted to be the stick figure with a ponytail"3:00 AM Nov 7th from Seesmic OH: "Gynecology is funny"about 11 hours ago from...