Paul Carr, TechCrunch’s version of a “Baby On Board” sign, has updated us on his sobriety chips. I guess he’s made it a month or something with only diet coke and himself to fall back on. How’s he doing?

Ah, yes, sobering up. So turns out it’s been just over a month since I had my last drink. This came as a surprise – when a friend texted me a couple of days ago to congratulate me – because it was only two weeks since I wrote about my decision to quit. But of course by then it had already been a while since I’d actually sobered up for the last time – posts like that take a while to write.

I don’t really have much more to say about it, except it’s not getting any easier; but nor is it getting any harder. My friends have been great, the lack of hangovers has been a revelation, I’m still in book deadline hole, my personal life is as ridiculous as ever and I can’t sleep.

Lately I don’t much think about Paultato. Apart from the times I am drunkenly emailing him that I am drunk and enjoying being drunk, and yo, how you doin Paul? I don’t have much to say about him. He’s boring now.

If you make your schtick being the drunk obnoxious ass wrangling writer, and that Crap takes you all the way to the hallowed halls of Arrington’s Empire, I guess I just don’t understand why you would turn into some kind of…sober person. Also, his writing is a snore now. At least before we could blame it on scotch, but now it’s obvious that it’s HIM.

Zzzzzzzzzz. Whatever.

Remember when Mary Rambin went in search of a new c0dz3r to make her a new tumblr template? I can’t imagine why despite being unemployed she never did break my door down begging me to create the ultimate stylesheet.

Well I guess her new hired monkey is shifting her over to wordpress, and Mary finds it all too confusing:

New programmer has me trying out wordpress.

I feel like I’m cheating on David.

D – tell me we can do the same stuff on tumblr.  I don’t wanna leave.

Jesus Mary, it’s wordpress, not Oracle sql or ROR. It’s a danged wysiwyg interface. It’s easier than a iPhone. It’s like a McDonald’s cash register! Besides I can’t imagine what you need wordpress for that tumblr can’t handle, for what you’re doing.

But hey, whatever. BTW, please give me your new monkey’s email. I’d like to find out their secret on how to make my clients do my job for me!

So, I sort of forgot Sarah Lacy existed while she scampered about Asia and India, because her travel stories are boring as – usually she’s just tweeting complaints or ass kissing some company or other, as a rule. So I sort of chuckled when ole Sarah “Woodward” Lacy’s twitter had these lil gems from three days ago (told you I haven’t checked in a while):

leaving for pune today. not a moment too soon. i have to get out of the smell/traffic of mumbai and this horrible hotel. #tired.    5:46 PM Nov 17th   from web

@Ashiya: i’m not trying to be negative. i very much have enjoyed my meetings. but this city is frustrating and i stayed at a bad hotel. 🙁    6:06 PM Nov 17th   from web  in reply to Ashiya

OH GOD SHE’S NOT BEING NEGATIVE U GUYZ!!! Can’t have a repeat of Rape Threats From Brazil, can we? She basically just said your city reeks and your hotels are Crapty, but she totally didn’t mean it like that!!!

Can she ever just go to another culture and NOT somehow insult it?

Attention all you Jakeophytes: I’m about to make your wet panty dreams come true. Yes, I am combining the words “Jake Lodwick” and “chocolate” in a post.

It seems during his internet break Jake took some time to learn how to make chocolate. Ostensibly his post was about Crystal Method and music and blahblahblah. All you need to care about is that Jake was in a factory covered in velvety liquid delicious, probably massaging it, gently into his skin, perhaps licking some off his fingers…

A couple weeks ago I worked in a chocolate factory for a week, making chocolate. In the back room with the big, loud tempering machine there are some small, loud speakers.

Well. Now that I’ve given Jacy something to dream on for years to come, I can get back to being drunk.

Dear entire state of Texas: thatgirlallison, bastion of wisdom and possessor of an obviously superior education, thinks you are dumb.

The Texas State Constitution, as amended in 2005. That’s the text of the entire voter-approved amendment. Read it carefully. Oops. (via ohhleary)

HAHA. Texans are dumb.

Yes, because you are living proof that New York produces intelligent humans without fail.

Stupid bortch. Go buy some pink Crap and keep your obnoxious, uninformed opinions about a huge state with a wide diversity of people to your fat self.

While you’re at work complaining about your stapler, Rachel and her boyfriend David Karp are sitting in bed eating confections and laughing at you fools who are still in a cubicle!

Finally crashing at 2am at the Hotel Arts in Barcelona

Suck it poors!