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Internets Miranda, of Not Super Just Mom, is freaking out, man: I know when I’m worried a tornado might be on the way, the first thing I do is compose a tweet. Jen, blogger lady at “Life With Levi”, follows the lead of That Wife by posting about her attempts to tighten up her feminine facilities. Evidently Jen decided kegal balls would help: I put them in, and just to see if I could do it, got up and walked around the living room. They didn’t fall out. In fact, I could barely feel them. I laid on the couch and tried doing some kegel exercises. At first, I could feel a little pressure from them, but then they shifted and I couldn’t feel them anymore. Maybe that’s just how they work? I settled in to watch a little TV. Worried they might fall out when she went to use the restroom, Jen first elected to urinate all over her hand in order to catch them if they popped out. When they didn’t appear Jen started to worry: Urinating apparently does not relax any of the muscles in my vagina enough to give back the stupid balls. Now I was getting mad, so I decided to go on a search and rescue mission. And totally freaked. Because I couldn’t feel them anywhere in there. Crap. I lost my marbles. After hours of “jumping up and down to dislodge them” and “lots of awkward bendy positions later” the kegal balls emerged and a delightful tale about her vagina that will in no way mortify her children in the future made its way onto the internet.
Brit.co, the hobby horse website of some chick who married a rich guy, has a habit of using other folks’ ideas and passing them off as her own original content. Well, she’s at it again, this time in such a blatant way that it’s impossible to dismiss. Brit + Co posted a tutorial for statement headbands that featured a glitter star diy headband: If this diy headband idea looks vaguely familar, it’s because The Hairpin featured the exact same thing over a year ago: As of right now there is no “inspired by” or any type of attribution on Brit + Co that would give any credit whatsoever to anyone but Brit + Co. Pretty typical for those hacks, who seem to regularly rip ideas from other people for free, and then try to sell them to other people in a box. Happy post-Christmas, jealous haters. Hope you’re all safe and well, and got some awesome gifts. Of course, nothing beats the gift of bloggers posting about their boring holiday, so let’s take a look around and see what our favorite smuglebrities did to celebrate. Dooce bought her daughters a Barbie jeep which she said “now seems like a really bad idea since Marlo already has a broken arm and we spent Sunday morning at the ER assessing whether or not Leta had broken her foot after slipping on melted snow in the kitchen”. Bleubird’s James spent the day taking pictures of her kids surrounded by the scandi-hipster toys that will fit in so well with her home decor. Calivintage kept it simple, visiting family in an outfit I have to assume they bought her, because something like this should only be worn out of guilt: Cary Randolph Kennedy Wittenbach Fuller Jefferson, Esq., survived the hardships of Hurricane Sandy, managed to spend time with her family. Peanut Butter Fingers started having post-holiday blues first thing this morning apparently, so she decided to recap her Christmas Eve – notable only because it is a boring recap of pretty much everything 90% of regular middle class nuclear families do, but sure, worth a post, why not. Messica and Neckbeard put on matching plaid and tweeted about snow, which is probably the most exciting event of her month. And Jordan Reid finally won a high five from me for giving her husband a no doubt much deserved skull full of vodka. I’m already bored with looking at blogger Christmas posts, so feel free to add more in the comments while I go get and stay drunk until New Year’s Day. A new Instagram terms of service update is causing internet wide freaking out. Apparently Instagram has announced that starting January 16th they have the right to sell your photos for commercial use – without compensating users: Some or all of the Service may be supported by advertising revenue. To help us deliver interesting paid or sponsored content or promotions, you agree that a business or other entity may pay us to display your username, likeness, photos (along with any associated metadata), and/or actions you take, in connection with paid or sponsored content or promotions, without any compensation to you. If you are under the age of eighteen (18), or under any other applicable age of majority, you represent that at least one of your parents or legal guardians has also agreed to this provision (and the use of your name, likeness, username, and/or photos (along with any associated metadata)) on your behalf. Users have no choice to opt out of such use other than deleting their account before January 16th. In fact, they apparently no longer even intend to inform users of sponsored content, period: You acknowledge that we may not always identify paid services, sponsored content, or commercial communications as such. While the first portion of the updated “Rights” claims “Instagram does not claim ownership of any Content that you post on or through the Service”, it goes on to inform users “[i]nstead, you hereby grant to Instagram a non-exclusive, fully paid and royalty-free, transferable, sub-licensable, worldwide license to use the Content that you post on or through the Service”. Sure, that seems legit. I can’t wait to see the gigantic blow up the first time Instagram sells some mommy blogger’s blurry baby photo! Britton Delizia, “a 25 year old mother of one , im 5’7” and stay around 140 pounds”, is tired of thin, athletic, attractive women being made to feel horrible about themselves. In order to combat the rampant discrimination against non-fat girls, Britton has created a Kickstarter project to fund a book full of inspirational photos like the one above. Why should a woman have to apologize for wanting to be fit? …I think this book will probably upset a few people, i think it will be looked at wrong by some people.. But.. if it just makes it into the hands of ONE little girl who feels like she has to be overweight to fit in with the current 70% of the overweight population of America, and it gives her the strength to know that being healthy isnt a bad thing. Um…wut? Who out on planet earth is telling young women they need to be overweight??? And seriously, “No child should be taught that being healthy , or active, or pretty , means your [sic] dirty, or dumb”? I’m pretty sure not knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re” is what makes people judge your intelligence, not whether you have six pack abs. I really hope this gets funded. If there’s anything the world needs it’s a book full of Gretchen Wieners whining about how hard it is to be thin and pretty.
Cary Randolph Internets Lifestyle Blogging WTF Cary Randolph, half a sandwich away from a meal, never misses an opportunity to remind everyone that she’s no longer a wannabe Brooklyn hipster from Missouri – she’s now a top drawer Hamptons going snooty party attending New York City socialite. And like many NYCers, Cary felt the need to share with facebook friends how she survived Superstorm Sandy: Yes folks, this is how Scary Mandolph eeked out the week of devastation after Sandy. You know, the storm that hit the east coast a couple of weeks ago, killing over a hundred, forcing the evacuation of over half a million, and leaving millions with property damage or homeless. As New York City hospitals lost power and had to move patients to safety, Cary was playing charades and no doubt wondering if her shoes were safe. Maybe she will do another “what to wear to commemorate a tragedy” post to honor the victims. Or maybe she will just move to the Hamptons and stfu.
Twitter Is The New Emergency Broadcast System
Bloggers Continue To Share About Their Vaginas
Internets Lifestyle Blogging
Brit Morin Will Use Your Ideas
Bloggers Celebrate Christmas, Internet Snores
Instagram Will Sell Your Photos
Britton Delizia Wants You To Stop Being Mean To Hot Chicks
Why should a woman have to apologize because she likes to run? or eat healthy? or just has the metabolism that is geared to keep weight at bay?
Cary Randolph Recounts The Horror Of Surviving Sandy
