@caro it’s because of your professional-looking hair. 😉
2 hours ago via Siftee

Twatiana and her Betamale husband are settling into their free forest shack nicely. At least it appears that way, but who can ever tell what the truth is with this chick. She could be one valium refill away from a breakdown for all we know, but that won’t stop her from producing the most irritatingly upbeat thing since the shopping montage in “Xanadu”:

Kevin’s new role as a teacher is fantastic for many reasons.
First of all teaching is what he loves to do.
Second, it sits in the middle of one of the most beautiful valleys I have ever seen.
Lastly, it is adjacent to a farm – the schoolmaster’s farm.
And so while Kevin laid out plans for his classes this week
I donned my boots and made the ten minute trek over to the farmhouse.
There was a thick mist in the air from the rain that fell that afternoon…
My boots were covered in mud in no time.
And as I took in all the smells – the chickens, the manure, the hay in bundles on the ground…
I realized I was home.
I realized that this is what I’ve been searching for all my life.
The moment I am in nature, surrounded by animals my soul is instantly at peace.
I feel like all extraneous things fall away and you are left with…
Life in it’s purest form.
This is happy.
This is peace.
This is…
it.

What is with her centered, one line writing now? Anyway, we are sure to be treated to tons of posts talking about how she feels just like Belle in “Beauty and the Beast” or a woodland fairy and pics of her reading in the forest after a picnic. She’s so happy! Life is perfect! Piggies just like Winnie the Pooh!

Jordan Reid, pregnant, cannot wait to get that fetus out of her so she can get back to important life activities:

While being a bit of a homebody feels natural and good right now, I have to admit: I’m sort of looking forward to that night a few months down the line when I can head out to a restaurant with some girlfriends…and then stay out. Past nine. And then maybe go…I don’t know…dancing. The lifestyle changes that come along with pregnancy and motherhood are necessary, and exciting in and of themselves, but sometimes you just need a whiskey with the ladies, am I right? … This is all to say I really don’t have many places to wear slinky black dresses lately. But this hyper-sexy jersey number was the perfect time to tackle the challenge of how to take a nighttime dress into twilight-time using the right accessories.

Poor Jordan. At a time when most women are worried about remaining relevant at their jobs during maternity leave, working on finding a child minder for their return to work (and how they will pay for that), and updating their wills and insurance policies, Jordan is concerned about how to remain sexy and dreaming about how soon she can pawn the baby off on full-time job Kenny and go out and drink/smoke/dance her way back to her pre-baby weight. What a tough life.

While Messica comes down from the high of being essentially ignored at a clothing swap, I’m debating which sneakers are more fetch for drinking a thermos of margaritas on the Brooklyn Bridge. Since I’ll obviously be busy for the next hour doing that, and because we have so many new guests here to GOMIBLOG, I thought I’d open the floor.

So, what is the most classic What I Want Messica moment? What post or comment finally drove you around the bend? If you no longer read WIW (or are reading less),  was there a reason it began to lose its appeal? If you know Messica in real life, is she really as obnoxious as her blogs make her sound?

Let’s have our own swap!

Twatiana of Love Lies Lace decided to come clean to her 8 readers about why they’re living in a backyard shed in the middle of no where earlier today:

Since we got back from California we have been staying with my parents who graciously offered up my old room to us. It’s been wonderful and interesting being back; having to share one tiny closet and squeeze all of our belonging we would need for the next three months into my bedroom. But as we say in Russia “V tesnote da ne v obide” translation: “In a crush, yet without resentment.” We have been enjoying my mum’s fantastic cooking, spending time with our family and having a relatively free summer.

In the meantime we have also been making frequent trips to our new home in Virginia, which is actually an old home. It’s a small cabin that belongs to Kevin’s family and we will be making our new life there. It was in pretty bad shape so we, along with a few contractors, have spent the past two months giving it a new life. It’s small, it has no central AC, there’s no driveway and the water looks like orange Kool-Aid but we’re thrilled. All those things don’t matter when you can’t see another house for miles, it’s actually quiet – really quiet and the beauty all around is breathtaking.

Blah, blah, blah, she’s done this all before. She uses a duck and cover, “prayer solves everything!” white-washing routine to scrub events and make sure everything comes up roses. She goes on to justify the sudden move from California because living there didn’t “feel right” and turns what seemed to everyone on the Internet to be a move necessitated by unemployment into a fun, basement-dwelling East Coast adventure.

While the unicorns are out feeding in their new woodsy backyard, Tati should consider the fact that her habit of writing a lot of Crap that actually doesn’t say anything and white-washing everything to keep her ego blogger qualification card is a big turn off. Oh well, at least her husband got a job, so we can look forward to more of her twee housewife posts.

“Miss James”, the babypimping blogger of “Bleubird Vintage”, is making sure her meal ticket’s first birthday is twee enough to inspire thousands of “AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWs” from her followers. To that end, she spent this afternoon trying to find a way to make bunnies happen:

so renting a bunny petting zoo for birdies bday will cost me $250 for an hour but i can just buying 4 bunnies for $80. hmmm…6 hours ago

i’m thinking buy the bunnies and then after the party bring them back to the bunny store… no? 6 hours ago

making a phone call now… “what’s the return policy on your bunnies?” 6 hours ago

Unfortunately twitter didn’t find this plan as cute as she did, and she had to chest puff about how it was a joke:

calm down everybody… i’m not actually going to buy and return bunnies. i’m joking. doesn’t anybody do that anymore? 5 hours ago

OHHH it was a JOKE! Oh I get it now! Using living things as props so your little sponsor magnet can have a Christina Crawford birthday party is hilarious! Just a joke, don’t take it so seriously!