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Internets Sarah Lacy, apparently in need of Immodium, had a bad case of the crankies upon her return from China: slightly cranky mood today. let’s see if blueprintcleanse + a fun 10:30 meeting can turn that around.12:51 PM Oct 27th from web Of course Michael Arrington didn’t see it that way… @sarahcuda “slightly cranky mood today” is a understatement.about 23 hours ago from web in reply to sarahcuda Poor Sarah couldn’t even get some decent sleep last night. Those darn grubs were still there when she woke up! can’t sleep and annoyed so i got up to work. honestly, less than a week in silicon valley and i’m ready to leave again. ugh.about 13 hours ago from web You are asking yourself, Can no one help Sarah? Is there nothing that can be done to help her shake these Sweet Valley blues??? But self-reliant Sarah can take care of her own moods, thanks: (much less annoyed now thanks to a few quiet hours of work in my favorite spot in the house to sit and write.)about 10 hours ago from web This is great! Everything will be back to normal. We look forward to perky, friendly, smiley Sarah’s tweets about stuff and things. Treat yourself to a loaded baked potato sugar! You deserve it! It’s hair day here at GOMIBLOG, and thatgirlallison, future intern and everyone’s favorite person to email me how much they don’t care about, is sporting uh…this. The hair is fine blah blah. Why is she always looking up? Is she Audrina Patridge or whoever? Sweetie, it’s a pattern… What the is that ‘pose’ about? Anyway, nice haircut.
OMGBEARS is in California, where she obviously blinked her doll eyes, looked around, and said “holy bears, hair salons!” I went to LA and look what it did to my hair. http://twitpic.com/n7rqyabout 2 hours ago from TweetDeck Oh, Bears! This is great. You know that thing they did, with the water, and the shampoo? Yeah, keep doing that. You know, on the daily. It’s not just a treat for you at the salon. Also, throw out all your rubber bands and wear that Crap down for a while. Ok, good job, now look around and find a store that’s not bustedtees.com and you’ll be on the road to OMGCUTE. Have you always wanted a thankless job where you learn no viable job skills, and will get The Eyebrow from hiring managers as you try to explain your job duties? Well you are in luck! Julia Allison is still somehow convincing people to be her unpaid personal assistant under the guise of being an “intern”. Possible candidates must: – know how to twitter that you’re enjoying a really fabulous party when secretly you want to twitter that you’re wearing giant underwear eating cupcakes at home. – be really good at listening to Meghan talk about her AWESOME iPhone! Tell her she is a geek frequently. Laugh at her jokes! She is the nice one. Everyone knows this. – tirelessly smile while filming Julia lip dubbing ridiculously age-inappropriate Disney / Lionel Richie songs. Act like this is normal and fun in italics. Say “yay.com” a lot and tell her that phrase is so totally going to catch on. Compliment her questionable choice in wardrobe. Remind her to sleep. – Pretend to like our blogs. Pick up their poop. – Read and respond to all bossy emails Julia sends after midnight. Realize that Julia only sends bossy emails after midnight. Realize Julia has not gone to bed before 3 am since 1986. Realize that’s a lot of bossy emails. – Get Julia to places on time. – Realize Julia has never been on time to anything in her entire life. – Start a secret blog about being an intern for NonSociety. [Note: DO NOT ACTUALLY DO THIS.] – Sell rights to best-selling novel, called “The Devil Thinks She’s Carrie Bradshaw 2.0” – Retire at 23. Become yoga instructor. Live happily ever after with one of Julia’s ex-boyfriends. GOD. YOU’RE SO LUCKY. I wish I could be my own intern. Look, I know she thinks this is cute, but it just reveals what an entitled, delusional bortch she is. She seems to have gotten her idea of how interns are treated from that Devil Wears Prada movie. The problem is she is not Anna Wintour, and NonSociety is not Vogue. I’m not sure what job skills these interns carry out of this position with them but unless they plan on being PA’s or secretaries I really don’t see what kind of valuable experience they come away with. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the powerful media tour de force Julia is introducing her interns to all number of influential people. Maybe these interns leave the bosom of the most successful tumblr ever and go on to fabulous careers thanks to Julia. If so I’d love to hear about it. While I remain unemployed, the Mermaid, Mary Rambin, decides to taunt me with another developer job I will never have: Unfortunately my very talented “web guy” Craig Spaeth has been overloaeded by his professors with meaningless assignments and tedious busy work (kidding!). So, I’m looking to bring on a replacement for on-going part-time work. Currently I’m looking for someone to redsign my Tumblr as well as a few new pages. You must be able to program it as well. Minimum commitment is 6 months, work will be sporadic and flexible to your schedule. That’s right kids. While Mary cavorts about in Mexico, you can update her tumblr theme and write 3r33t code. The posting is here, if you want to give it a shot! Paul Carr, the increasingly boring ass cancer of the editorial world, has decided to pep things up a bit. How will he do that? No, not throwing out his laptop and taping his mouth. He’s going to pull one of those predictable they-think-it’s-dramatic stunts that those in his toenail gazing circle think will shock and awe us into paying attention to them. Eh, not really. He’s just going to quit drinking! Naturally he has to make this sound like he is changing his DNA or something, and not just putting the glass down: One complicating factor (in my head at least) is that I’ve forged a career – and a respectable income – from drinking too much, doing idiotic things and writing about them. My last book floated on a sea of booze, and if you were to ask anyone who knows me to give you three keywords about me, drink would certainly be one of them. Dude, it was a schtick, you wanted to adopt the then popular gonzo eccentric writer persona. You wanted to play dress up in Hemingway’s snifter. Stop pretending that being a drunk is part of who you are. It’s offensive to those of us who are truly drunks: But the thing is, there’s a line between doing entertainingly idiotic things under the influence and doing irreversibly damaging things. And what sells the most books and makes people read blog posts – losing loves, getting arrested, being fired, inching towards cirrhosis of the liver – is not actually that much fun when it’s you doing it. What the hole? Yes it is! All I know is that it’s my 30th birthday in a couple of months, and I really hope I’ll be spending it sober. And alive. And with friends. Those are decent enough goals for now. OMG DRAMAZ. It’s not like you have liver failure and mowed down a toddler during a tequila fueled run to Taco Bell you ass. You just binge drink and do stupid Crap you don’t remember. That’s like twice a week for me, and I’ve somehow managed to keep my friends and loved ones around, and remain alive. Damn dude, you need to relax. Have a dr- oh, oops. Well here, have a valium. Cary Randolph, She-Ra’s less hot sister, is home in Muzzurah or Kansas or whatever backwater spewed her forth. Of course after 15 years as the only midwestern girl in NYC, she’s able to teach the toothless TJ Maxx shoppers a thing or two about STYLE! KB and I reunited yesterday at her family’s Homecoming tailgate and as usual tied for Best Dressed, thanks in great part to her fly-ass boots and my open toes. Look you hillbillies, take a tip from Cary: wear a fly fishing jacket over some white Guess jeans and some open toed shoes (wtf to a tailgate?) and call that Crap Best Dressed. Outside of NYC everyone’s an editor at Vogue.
Silicon Valley Makes Sarah Cranky
Totally Forgettable Chick I Forgot About Got Haircut
Internets
Caro McCarthy Finally Embraces Her Nonugly
Julia Allison Seeking A Lucky (Attractive, Patient, Independently Wealthy) Person
– Pretend to like our dogs. Pick up their poop. Pretend to like picking up our dogs’ poop.
Our Mermaid Mary Doing Her Part To Get You Some Income
Paultato's New Gimmick Is To Give Up Previous Gimmick
Look You Hillbillies, Cary Just Has Style, Ok?
