Jordan Reid Berkow Strauch, married, has a lot of readers! They love and trust her to help them with problems, and email her all kinds of questions. Today, Jordan helps a reader find a place to live:

Hi Jordan,

First off, I love your blog! I was wondering if you had any apartment-search tips. My boyfriend and I are looking for a place in Brooklyn and keep hitting dead ends. We are following Craigslist, but I was wondering if you knew any other services or sites…..[email continues, this is the relevant part]

Excellent question, reader! As you know, Jordumbo is an expert on Brooklyn. Real Estate Expert Jordan offers this fantastic advice in reply:

First, I seriously would suggest at least considering the UES – it is sooo much cheaper than you’d expect (you wouldn’t believe what we pay for our 2-bedroom), and almost-sort-of as fun as Brooklyn (really). Also, you’d be my neighbor, so there’s a plus  Next, this Time Out NY article I wrote on UES apts under $2000 might be helpful.

My #1 tip is to avoid brokers at all costs, of course, because you don’t want to pay fees if you don’t have to. When I first moved back to the city (that’s my old apartment on moving-out day pictured above), I ended up sholeing out something like 7 grand just to get in the door of an apartment between deposits and fees, which was insane and totally unmanageable, and not something I’d ever ever ever do again. To avoid this situation, I’d suggest going directly to management companies in areas you love and seeing what they have available (that’s what we did, working on the recommendation of a friend who lived in the building we wanted to get into). Bettina Equities(212-744-3330) also owns a lot of buildings citywide (although mostly on the UES), and the only fee to move in is a $100 application fee, although I’ve been warned by friends that the application process can be a pain. And don’t forget: the market is on your side right now, so definitely haggle a bit! I was able to bring down the price of our current apartment by $450 a month just by doing a little negotiating.

Hope that helps a bit! Anyone else have suggestions?

First of all, don’t live in Brooklyn! Second, don’t use a broker! Third, tell your potential landlord you can only afford to live there if they drop the price by 1/4.

Jordan Reid, renting expert. Be sure to check out her decorating tips after you secure that $1600 a mo railroad apartment with jacked up floors and a shower in the hall! You’re welcome!!!!

Mary Rambin, success at life, apparently received this email and it totally didn’t bother her. You know how we know? Because she posted it to her tumblr, along with a scathing comeback that PROVES it did not bother her at all:

Nice. Fortunately I’m not threatened but only proud of my sister’s accomplishments (and mine own too!). But seriously, what kind of person stops their day to attempt to ruin someone else’s? Who even has time for that? It’s just sad.

Other things Mary so does not care about and is, in fact, happy about not having: a fashion week job, an actual legit blogging job, and body fat. Mary Rambin doesn’t care, haters! Not at all! She’s thrilled to death! Happy to be the 30 year old dilettante living in Houston while her little sister stars on a hit show and gets engaged to some hot dude. COULD NOT BE HAPPIER PLEASE PASS HER THE VODKA.

Megatits McCain, future wife of a lift chair bound tobacco farmer in a life story that could have been written by D. H. Lawrence, is running out of steam with her Palin bashing. So She Who Never Reads Here has decided to go after the chick in the news now:

“My problem is that, no matter what, Christine O’Donnell is making a mockery of running for public office,” McCain said on Sunday. “She has no real history, no real success in any kind of business.”

Really, princess? Sit down for a moment. Let’s go over YOUR credentials, shall we? Wait, come back, I just want to know what qualifies you to decide who is worthy to be in the political sphere. Where are you going? Megatits? Poopo?

Keep your friends close and your enemies in a Tweetdeck column.about 16 hours ago via TweetDeck