Jessica, full time means 4 hours a day, recently went to her high school reunion. It was easy for her to attend because she lives like 15 minutes away now. Like everyone else Messica is overjoyed at any chance to post pics of herself in high school so people can comment on how she’s always had style!!!! and was so tall!!! and thin!!!

But forget all that compliment fishing: the truly important part of that post was the above photo. It provides proof (PROOF! STFU!) that Messica was doing ‘color blocking’ before anyone else. Suck it, haters!

In other What I Snore news, it appears Messica somehow roped the DKNY pr chick on tumblr to throw her/sponsor her book party in NYC, her “home away from home”. It’s next Wednesday, July 27, from 6-8pm. No mention of cupcakes and root beer, but if you buy Jessica’s book you’ll get a whole 10% off a DKNY purchase and can enter to win a one-on-one styling session with Messica. I wonder if she can help a 5’2″ size XXL find some style? Maybe I should go and try to win!

What I Wore’s Jessica Quirk, giver of “expert style tips”, made the Style section of some local Indiana paper. Under the headline “Hoosier Jessica Quirk is fashionable girl next door, Her blog and book offer advice and a look at her own wardrobe”, some midwestern daily ran this hilarious piece.

For Jessica Quirk, fashion isn’t about walking all over each other in this season’s Prada pumps to get in the front row at fashion week. It’s simply about looking good and feeling confident.

In her book, “What I Wore: Four Seasons, One Closet, Endless Recipes for Personal Style” (Ballantine Books, $18), named for her widely known personal style blog, Quirk infuses her style expertise with the voice and charm of a Midwestern girl next door.

Although Quirk, 28, lived in New York for several years and traveled the world as a designer for a small company, the Indiana native is again living in Bloomington, where she recently signed copies of her book at The Blueline Gallery. She said it was important for her to include her love for Indiana in the book.

“I know there is a fashion-focused segment of the population who go straight to runways, but there is a huge demographic that’s not being targeted. I can relate to wanting to be fashionable on a budget or liking to look good but not loving shopping — I want to be someone women trust taking advice from, like your sister or your neighbor.”

“What I Wore” is an inspirational style guide that every girl and woman should have in her closet.

The article goes on to describe the book and includes Messica’s “expert style tips” such as “I learned to never wear white bra and panties after seeing a photo of myself taken with a bright flash.” The best part is the closing paragraph:

So far, the feedback has been positive, although, Quirk says, “The book feels like a risk because it’s out there. . . . I can’t edit or delete it the way I can a blog post. People can see it and do or say what they want.”

Clearly the writer of this story has not seen the book reviews online. Not only Amazon, but various bloggers reviewing the book have given it a lukewarm reception at best. Some style bloggers have informed us they are opting out of reviewing the book altogether for fear a negative review will spark drama.

And now I’d like to quickly say that the above outfit (from Friday, according to Messica’s blog) is probably the most flattering thing she has worn lately. I don’t like the dress material and I’m not a fan of the belt, but at least she’s wearing different shoes and the silhouette she’s sporting here takes 10 lbs off of her. See? I can say nice things when she doesn’t frump herself up like a Mad Men extra.

Jessica Quirk, published doodler, will be celebrating her success at conning a blog book publisher into printing drawings of her closet this Thursday. Sparing no expense to make sure her book launch party is THE event of the “summer in a college town” season, Messica headed out to start stocking supplies:

Bottled pop for the book party next week!! http://twitpic.com/5k2qid 2 Jul via Twitter for Windows Phone

WOWWIE WOW WOW! Root beer and cupcakes!!! This is going to be the most happening event since Rosie Roxwitter’s 6th birthday party last month! Nothing says “I am celebrating what will surely be merely the first book in a celebrated literary legacy I plan to leave behind” like…cupcakes and sody pop in a town in Indiana.

I hope she’s letting Rich Tong plan the New York book launch, because I don’t think NYC writery types are going to show up for orange soda and cupcakes from Sam’s Club.

In her ongoing effort to make us believe nothing has changed, Messica has been pulling on outfits from years ago. How do we know they are from years ago? Because she makes sure to tell us.

There are some dresses in my closet that get worn year after year and this is definitely one of them. It was actually what I wore in my first ever daily outfit photo four years ago!

Tuesday she crammed into the ill-fitting “chambray” dress, informing us that she’s worn it for the past three years. See, bortches! No weight gain!  She can still fit in stuff she wore in Brooklyn! SIZE MEDIUM FOREVER!!!!

In other news, Messica is 5’9″ tall.

Jessica Schroeder Quirk, married, totally thinks Bloomtucky is better than New York City. In fact  she actually takes a moment to bask in her own smugness when others decide to join her in the Outer Zone:

This is the woman who spent 4 years singing the praises of Brooklyn until she couldn’t afford it anymore. The woman who basically admitted that the only reason she moved back to Indiana is because her husband wanted to. She is so sure that the middle state college town she resentfully resides in is superior to yucky loud NYC. So sure that she takes a quiet moment of personal triumph when she thinks others are justifying her decision by joining her in the Midwest.

Honey, if you need others to fail out of New York in order to validate your decision, chances are you aren’t as happy about living out there as you try to make us all believe.

PS: Meeeeow!

The day you’ve had marked on your calendar for MONTHS is finally happening soon – the release of the most important fashion book ever published, Jessica Schroeder Quirk’s “What I Wore” book.

It looks like they went with that as the final cover. Why out of the million pics of her available did they choose…this? Anyway, I’ve already read the galley and all I can say is I hope they did a final proofread before hitting the print button.

I’m sure sales will be massive and Messica will wind up being a millionaire. We just got done listening to her talk about her wedding, and now we get to listen to her go on about her book tour and how Kate Spade and ODLR sent her their entire fall collection as a congrats gift. Every blogger in the lifestyle/fashion circle jerk will fill up their twitters with exclamation points and write fawning reviews.

Seriously though, the publicity machine around this should be the best show in town for the next month or so. I can’t imagine this being some runaway success outside of her fan base. And I don’t want to hear how I will be cursed with karma for being so negative. As a rule I’m all about supporting bloggers who pull Crap like this off, but in this case I’ll wait and buy a REAL book by an actual writer.

The good news is the GOMIBLOG bookie is now taking bets on the sales estimates!